There goes a saying that none can make you feel bad ..unless you let him....
dont know how true this saying goes... when i heard it the first time I was
surprised by it. heard it in a movie.. where a mom says it to her daughter
when people pick on her at her school..
at that time i too was in college and could identify with people putting you
down or not treating you well. just to have some laughs and show them as
superior. i held on to that saying....
i did'nt understand whether or not that saying made sense but then it was
something i could hold on too.whenver i was in a situation. as a college kid
i was not very confident.. would be hurt by the people's remarks by their
actions. their indifference towards me.
then i learnt to ignore all of them.. anyone who thought he was too smart or
too pretty to talk to me or hang around me.. i would ignore them..as if they
didnt exist..
walk past them as if they were not standing there.
see through them as if they were made of thin air.
unhear them as if it were the breeze whispereing....
it was a good coping mechanism.. atleast that way i would'nt be feeling low..
everytime..someone didnt refer to me.. didnt ask me for lunch.. or didnt ask
my help. or didnt respond to my voice...
then i understood a part of that phrase.... no one can make you feel bad
without your consent...the answer was ignorance.... when i ignore the ppl who
were were rude to me... why do i give them the chance to be rude to me.. when
the object of their disklike does not acknowledge them.. to whom are they
going to say those rude words..
that saying did work... but in a sense only partly..
this worked only with people you could ignore.. people who were mere
acquaintences.. co students.. not your friends or family with whom you had to
be in constant touch.. not the ones whom you had to work with everyday.. how
can you ignore the people at one instant and then go to them with some work
the next.. no it doesn't work that way...
now in my work life i got another realisation.. the second part of the
saying.. it means that if you are confident with your self.. then no one can
make you feel bad..
how can someone say something worng.. that makes you look bad when you know
you are better than that..it ceases to be important to you..
when you ignore them.. you are acknowledging that they are not important..
nor when your confident about yourself.. you understand that you are
important.. it does'nt matter whether the others are important or not... you
are more important than them...
two years into my work life.. and i understand a different aspect of this
saying...
some days back a colleague of mine.. made a rude comment to me .. in front of my senior..
no it was'nt because of something wrong or a mistake.. but then just cause i
jotted down something in the summary.. that he didnt think was imp...
i didnt expect it.. his comments came like.. a lighting and i was too stunned
to respond..
yes i felt bad.. and i felt paralysed.. i scanned my brains to know how to
respond.. i didnt know.. so i just stood there... n smiled.. but that was too
difficult to do too...
the earlier two realisations were meant for facing rude people.. but now..the
part comes where i need to react once that has happened...
how do i react..?
i don't know.. i am still waiting for understanding a different aspect of
that saying...somehow i beleive that it does have the answer.. only i have
still not got it
